Friday, November 16, 2012


i've been slacking in the word of the month category. so to make up for lost verbiage – and in honor of PMS WEEK here at silly = sane – i offer you my top 5 non-swears. i know "that time of the month" is near when my already frail internal check system starts to fail in the four-letter-word category. i've been turning to silly yet satisfying alternatives as a solution. and although you might not teach these to your kids, at least you won't mind them repeating them.

5 @#$! (ampersand-pound-dollar sign-EXCLAMATION POINT)
we all know what this means in comic strips. but have you ever read it out loud literally? LOL!

you know, like daffadowndilly (which is a satisfying way of saying daffodil), but uh, not as cute.

3oh, for crying in the beer
because that would be sad. very, very sad.

2shiitake mushroom!
a loyal reader shared this one, and i've been using it ever since. it's the satisfaction of the about-face.

1Scheibenkleister! So ein Mist!
the German translation for this is "window putty." so said my German prof. (i am sorry to say, Herr Lamse, that it is pretty much all i remember.) some native German speakers confirmed that it's an old-fashioned way of not swearing and that it isn't used much anymore. ... except, of course, by stir-crazy mommas hell-bent on at least gaining verbal satisfaction in an otherwise angst-inducing day. (a rough pronunciation: shy-bun-cly-stuh! zoh eyn mist!)

in the time it takes to say some of these, i've either calmed down a bit or i'm outright laughing at myself.

what's your favorite non-swear?

art credit: "The Bureaucratic Screams from Hell"

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